Posts Tagged ‘faith’

Of Indifference & Love❤️

Posted: May 15, 2020 in Life as I see it...
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In a quest to get to the bottom of the indifference I, so frequently, see in people these days, I went back some years on the Facebook timelines of some of my more perplexing friends. I was so heartened to find normal college lives, camaraderie with friends, venting of emotions without hesitation, in some cases, even with great aplomb in English that is broken at best, confessions of first loves & first heartbreaks. The honesty of such posts made me smile.


And then, I compared them to the same people I know now. Words fail me– there is a veneer so thick, a mask so snug that they themselves don’t realise that they have changed beyond recognition. They are no longer the carefree people they once were.


What makes good people change into such versions of themselves where their inherent honesty is buried so deep within that most people they interact with don’t even take the trouble of venturing in? And those who do, almost always, are hurt by their indifference and ‘it doesn’t matter to me either way whether you stay or leave’ attitude or ‘what is to like in a job as long as it pays the bills’ syndrome. This ‘made up shell’ might be their defence mechanism against the scourge of life but, in my opinion, it keeps them away from more meaningful relationships both personally and professionally. They have made walls that keep people out. These barriers might save them from some hurt along the way but are extremely limiting in the long run.


Don’t get me wrong, I am not against change. Infact, I know, no person stays the same over the years. We change with our experiences. We grow. Sometimes we wallow too. This is LIFE. It breaks & remoulds the best of us. There is no human alive who hasn’t had his or her fair share of trials, turbulences, grief, heartbreaks & losses but we have also had love, friendships, family, triumphs, happiness and moments to cherish. It is upto us what we act on and become.


Whatever the world might say for them, I prefer people who wear their hearts on the sleeve. They may be considered naive, emotional fools who are susceptible to being hurt but they are honest and they don’t have a mask on. All the grief, heartbreak, failure and disappointment haven’t made them lose faith in the good things that life has to offer. They haven’t become sceptics. They may be annoying or clingy but they are themselves. They don’t have to deal with two sides of their own pschye- one who they actually are and the second what they let the world see.


In my experience, people who are indifferent to love or human proximity are the ones who need it the most. They just can’t bring themselves to acknowledge it when they have it or admit, even to themselves, the fact that they do need it. They are prepared to lose & suffer rather than accept that they crave love too. They stay in denial. Outward appearances belie the truths inside. They may be the coolest people in a crowd but hollow inside. They may be magnets for people to rally around, eat, drink, socialise and make merry but their connections are mostly always superficial & banal. When they can’t accept love, they can’t give it away either. After all, we cannot pour from an empty cup, can we? At the end of the day, one has to face oneself. We might not realise our loneliness unless & until we are fair and truthful to ourselves. The most important conversation would be how we answer our own questions when we look ourselves in the mirror. How happy we are, if at all, is how happy we let ourselves be..


Is it, then, justified to keep ourselves aloof for fear of getting hurt? Is it worth all the trouble to be recognised as cool and detached, when in the end, it might leave us with nothing concrete? Is being emotional so wrong? Can we not still have hope and faith in love and goodness of people despite our bad experiences?


In the end, it is all a CHOICE. Shutting our eyes to dangers doesn’t make them go away. It is what pigeons do. They close their eyes and hope that the cat won’t see them. It doesn’t happen that way in life. It is just that we don’t see it coming and when it hits us, it knocks the wind out of us and we get to blame fate, once again. Is it not more prudent, then, to keep one’s eyes open and let everything that life has in store for us, in- without fear of repercussions and anticipation of the hurt?


The most content people I have come across are those who accept everything with an open mind and heart, those who have seen and experienced both sides of life without changing the core of their being. They are the influencers not the impressionables. It is all right if we love or hate something with a passion, be it on work or personal front but we should try and make an effort not to be indifferent. It won’t be fair to us. We have one life. It isn’t proper for us to sit on the fence and let that pass us by, having not lived it one way or the other.


If it doesn’t matter, leave it. Move on. Don’t stick to it and hurt others too. Be it a job or a relationship. Be there. Either all in or all out. CHOOSE. Don’t do things half way.


Just a random thought!

✨Purpose✨

Posted: November 30, 2019 in Life as I see it...
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For as long as I can remember, I have been an atheist. I have no particular grouse with God. Life has been largely good and comfortable for me. It is just that the whole concept of religion as propounded by man confounds me. Not one to argue, I chose to just not believe in HIM yet steering clear of the confrontation. That makes me more of an agnostic I guess.

I have encountered people with unwavering faith in God, people who would continue to believe even when odds are stacked against them, people who would smile through the pain and say if it is God’s will there must be something good in it. I have marvelled at such people and the resilience of their characters.

Like the young Buddha when he was still Siddharth, I was cocooned by my parents too and thus didn’t know much about suffering. My compassion for others was acquired through a lot of reading and was basic, to say the least. There comes a time in every human’s life when life starts throwing curve balls and we have to use all the skills at our disposal to deal with them. Siddhartha understood hunger, old age, misery and death when he saw them first hand but then he was an enlightened and evolved soul, so was quicker to realisation than me.

I prided myself in staying strong and dry- eyed even in the face of death. I have seen a lot of people go and have maintained a resolute stance through it all. It did move me but not to the core. Cold- hearted was an adjective that my family and friends gave me.

But lately, I have developed a deeper sensitivity of suffering, pain and disease when I encountered them close at home. Watching my father battle through different stages of the chronic kidney disease has given me a new perspective on life. I have come to appreciate the little things, the brief respites, the genuine smiles, the idea of letting go, forgiveness and most of all LOVE,COMPASSION,KINDNESS and CARE– in essence God.

A few days back I came across a picture on one of the social media sites that asked a pertinent question as to what the purpose of one’s life was and that most people took living to be just breathing, eating, earning and spending until they die. To that I say, each day life and the people around us teach us something new. Our lives are God’s way to evolve our souls by grinding into them the virtues of love, tenderness, compassion, patience and stoicism.

These days, more often than not, I find myself tearing up at the suffering that other patients go through on our visits to the dialysis centre. I am filled with gratitude towards God that we have had a whole and healthy life and that dad has taken ill only at this age in his life. I see children of 6,7,10,18 years of age going through dialysis with nothing but a bleak future ahead. Organ transplant isn’t an option for them with the high costs involved.

I have learnt everyday from the smiling health care professionals who are there to see us through any complication or phase that raises its ugly head. I have seen them bear the brunt of anger, frustration and helplessness of their patients and still go about their work with nary a crease on the brow. There have been times when I have broken down under stress, uncertainty and the burden of decision- making and yet one word or conversation with the dialysis staff has been enough to calm my mind and allay my fears. I bow down to their spirit and the hope that they represent.

I still don’t go to a temple but nowadays, I pray. And I thank HIM everyday for the blessings that I have been taking for granted all my life. I thank HIM for the people he has sent to enrich my life and to help me get through it. I don’t ask for anything, not out of pride, just because I don’t see HIM as the fulfiller of wishes but as a wise guide who is teaching me every step of the way. If I walk the path laid down for me to the best of my abilities, may be, there would be contentment at the end.

💫On Healing💫

Posted: October 17, 2018 in Life as I see it...
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Do you believe in Karma? As Indians I know, most of us do. ‘What goes round comes round,’ is the theory our lives revolve around.

It has been a year full of upheavals- physical, emotional, financial and any other ‘al’ that’s possible. So what begot them? Is it just the move to a new space or the lack of religious peity? Is it the negative energy of the new place or the evil eye cast on us by seemingly well meaning friends and acquaintances?

Why blame someone or something for one’s ill-fortune? I believe we reap what we sow. No one is bad in his or her own perception and decent people don’t go about planning to harm others with their words, actions or existences but try as we might we cannot please everyone and even without meaning to, we end up bringing grief to others. And grief thus brought, counts as a debit on one’s account. It is all checks and balances from there on.

We do everything possible to cast off the negativity. We mostly give in to the tried and tested method– Religion. Sadly, we have been brought up to fear God more than we respect and love Him. So we fall into the trap of the self- appointed faith healers, the one’s who claim a divine connect and we perform all sorts of weird things that normally and rationally we wouldn’t. We hear stories of how such practices brought about a change in other people’s lives. And we are tempted to try each one of them. Getting a havan or a special pooja done on an auspicious day is just the beginning. There is weirder stuff we all are acquainted with. Feeding the strays on a particular day of the week, feeding them specific stuff, eating something or abstaining from somethings come next. Then enters woodoo, black magic, tantras and mantras. We do everything and we believe in everything when the chips are down. Even my writing against them would be considered blasphemous by my equally rational family who have been bowed down in having faith in such stuff.

If not this what is the solution then? I believe the solution lies within us. One has to go through life without judgements, sans the feeling that ill things happen to me always. We have to have faith in God and his sense of justice. He wouldn’t give us a burden too heavy for us to carry. Yes, there may be hardships but just like good times don’t last, bad ones don’t either. Life is a mix of both. Our problem is that we don’t rejoice in the good times, they are taken as a matter of right while we whine away during the painful periods. Pain is inevitable. Whether it is loss of health, wealth, mental peace, a loved one- everything brings us pain. As humans, we just need to learn to accept what is given to us. We will start HEALING, the moment we realise that it is just life with its ebbs and flows, its triumphs and sorrows. No one else is responsible for what we face in life. It is just our actions that beget reactions. No amount of guilt can make life easy but acceptance can. If we recognise where we went wrong, we need to accept it without guilt, rectify it if we can, take a lesson and move on. There is no use crying over spilt milk. We can’t undo our actions, however digital we get. We can just correct them and learn from what transpired. We are humans and are bound to falter in life but that shouldn’t stop us from growing and experimenting and living.

As for religion, I have always felt that spirituality is much more important than being overtly religious. Then again, to each his or her own. Believing in God is important but a Punishing God is just the figment of our imaginations and a very popular one at that, specially in our society. God doesn’t work that way.

Healing has to start from US and our unwavering faith in the goodness of life and judiciousness of the Almighty.

Hugs can heal. Listening can heal. Being there for someone can heal. Music can heal. Words and actions can heal. A kind heart can heal. It is the super power of us humans. We can Heal.

I don’t know why but I am reminded of Rudyard Kipling’s masterpiece of a poem- ‘If’, so I would leave you with that.

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

https://youtu.be/sxKJqmBh8M4

At War… 

Posted: May 4, 2017 in Life as I see it...
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For all those familiar with Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind, the scenario I am about to mention won’t be new. 
It was in this classic that we came across the grit and solidarity of the Southern women, ladies or otherwise. In a much loved scene, that happens many times over, the ladies of the household & neighborhood would sit together in any one of their homes and talk about mundane stuff, sewing or knitting, all the while actually waiting, eagerly, for any news from the front. They would sit and chat and backbite and criticise yet their minds would be preoccupied with the well-being of their men out to fight the Civil War. 

I experienced something like that today when we, my mom & I, visited my uncle’s place. The ladies of the family were all present, putting up a brave front, chatting about routine, everyday things, reinstating their faith in the almighty, serving tea and snacks to visitors; all the while waiting, keenly, for news or update from the hospital, where my uncle is battling the inevitable. 

It’s a war against Death; a war against anything that threatens one’s belief in God; a war for faith; a war for love, for family, for children. For the first time in my life, I hope that faith wins, that God persists, that life sustains..

May he win his battle against an inescapable destiny.. May life triumph.. 

For as long as he is breathing, there is HOPE.. 

Hoping for a Miracle!! 

Need all your prayers.. 

I Believe in Magic✨

Posted: October 22, 2016 in Life as I see it...
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“Do you like Country music?” asked Prakirti. My last blog must have led her to believe that I understood the western music scene quite well, so I told her that my musical education was sporadic, at best. And that it was quite late in life that I had picked up English songs and artists. Hence, differentiating genres was beyond me. She said, “Let me send you a selection of songs, then.” She did. And I instantly fell in love with this beauty. 

Don Williams – I Believe in You

​I don’t believe in superstars

Organic food and foreign cars

I don’t believe the price of gold

The certainty of growing old

That right is right and left is wrong

That north and south can’t get along

That east is east and west is west

And bein’ first is always best.

Well, I dont believe that heaven waits

For only those who congregate

I’d like to think of God as love

He’s down below

He’s up above

He’s watchin’ people everywhere

He knows who does and doesn’t care

And I’m an ordinary man

Sometimes I wonder who I am.

I know with all my certainty

What’s goin’ on with you and me

Is a good thing

It’s true

I believe in you.

I dont believe virginity

Is as common as it used be

In workin’ days and sleepin’ nights

That black is black and white is white

That Superman and Robinhood

Are still alive in Hollywood

That gasoline’s in short supply

The risin’ cost of gettin’ by

I believe in love

I believe in babies

I believe in mom and dad

And I believe in you.

Once again,  I was done in by the soothing music, the bewitching and entrancing strains of the guitar, the charismatic baritone of Don Williams and most of all by the lyrics – Words, weaving Magic. So simple yet of such import. 

Out of all the delightful things that the artist says, he believes in, I chose MAGIC as the title of my blog. I shall try and elucidate, rather justify my choice of title in my plain, ingenuous expression.

The writers of the song and the artist who made it so popular might have concentrated on Love, I like Magic. For me love is magic, faith is magic, music is magic, divine providence is magic, mom-dad-babies-children-old folk all Magic. 

Not even a week has gone by, I was down and out, suffering from despair. I wrote about it. Magic transpired. I got support from unexpected quarters. People who were long gone, without any contact whatsoever, reached out. Mere acquaintances came forward with their stories, experiences and suggestions. I was pulled out of the dark by so many helping hands. I received calls from people I had never spoken to and they made small talk feel so relieving (case in point, Prakirti, the child who gave me this song and set the ball rolling for this piece here.. Thank you. Grateful!) I was so happy to find so much love & care that indifference & ‘what can I say to this’ attitude from the people I expected relief from, also did not dampen my spirit. I had embraced Hope. Pure Magic. Bliss. 

I have often heard people say- Do not be afraid. Go ahead, do your part and things will automatically fall into place. I feel a certain amount of fear of the unknown, of the outcome, of the process is a great motivator in getting things done. Fear is magic too. Just the right amount and you are on your way. 

The most splendid, resplendent, glorious of all Magic is the ability to connect with People. Family-parents, grandparents, siblings, sons, daughters, cousins, friends, co-workers, colleagues or even for that matter the strangers we come across everyday while walking down a street or entering a building, attending a concert or a show, shopping in a mall or arcade. People are everywhere. Just smiling down at them creates Enchantment– a mystic energy that envelops us and makes us believe in each other. It coerces, compels & drives us to be more accepting of our differences, of each other’s opinions & circumstances. Acceptance is Magic. Belief in each other is Magic.

I believe in Magic✨. I believe in You-my people💖, my circle of light 💫, my ring of faith.😇