Posts Tagged ‘#Change’

Energy doesn’t lie..

I have waited for a week or so, since this realisation hit, to write it all down. I am not an expert on this branch of thinking, I just write what I experience so my account may not be statistically correct. It is at best a point of view, not a point of reference. Having given the disclaimer, I now feel free to share what has been brewing in my mind.

In my humble opinion, people, places, events, plans everything has energy. That energy might be good or bad, positive or negative, dynamic or stagnant, but it does have an impact. We tend to rejuvenate after a vacation or a change of scenery. We can radically change our mood in the company of people- friends or strangers. We alter our perspectives and opinions when we come across fresh persuasive take on things. We react when we are challenged by a new work atmosphere or work profile. That reaction might either be growth or our lack of adaptation. The result doesn’t really matter here. All I am trying to say is that energy of a place, people or an event has the potential to change us as human beings–for better or for worse, that depends on myriad factors.

I have known families who have packed up and moved out to new cities because they were not doing as well in their home towns. People change houses all the time and all of us, whether with a conventional outlook or not, believe that the energy of the house would have repercussions on the quality of life of a family. If we move to a new place and fall ill, most people would say that the new house or city didn’t suit us. Some might also recommend elaborate religious rites to purify and make the place more conducive to living.

It doesn’t take super human powers to get a grip on how these energies work. We, humans, have been endowed with intelligence and logical thinking. More often than not, we realise in the initial stages whether a relationship, a job, a move to a new place, an arrangement, a marriage, a treatment is working or not. But as humans we have also been given an element of hope ( the biggest evil to come out of Pandora’s box) and a belief in perseverance. We don’t leave things or give up on them if they don’t work out initially. We just keep at it, hoping it would change.

This is the approach I have an issue with. In my experience, anything that we have misgivings about even before starting out or in the initial stages, doesn’t really improve with time and effort. We may feel that it has started working if we see a relative difference in the state of things. It may be due to one of two reasons- the realisation may be due to our own efforts and would cease to exist once we stop putting that input, or the change may well be in the way we look at things, that again would be our own adaptability or acceptance of things as they are.

I know there may be varied views on this. As I said, we are taught to be adaptable. We are told that things would not always be according to our comfort or wishes but we trudge along. That’s the way the world has always moved. Nothing wrong with that opinion. To each his own. But for the few who live by the maxim of YOLO, or who feel personal happiness and contentment is important to keep others around us happy, adaptability, as in compromise, is not acceptable.

No one is infallible and if we fall into this trap of disregarding the energies that surround us, we are not naive. We are just what our decent upbringing has made us but expecting happiness in such a scenario would be a little too much to ask. Speaking from experience, I would reiterate that when it comes to people in our lives– whether they are parents, siblings, friends, better halves or romantic interests– we ignore the energies and go about the old fashioned way. We persevere. We hope. We put in an effort. We come to terms with how things will be. That, in most cases, robs us of our peace of mind, our carefree attitude. We refuse to acknowledge ‘the energy’ of our relationship. We turn a blind eye because what else can we do?

This may not apply to many but holds true for me- When I go to consult a doctor, no matter how accomplished he/she might be or however highly recommended, I cannot put my trust in them if I don’t get a positive vibe. I rely on energies. I can’t remember the number of opportunities I have had to let go because I cannot work for someone whose aura doesn’t draw me in. Miraculously, I don’t regret any of those decisions. I am confident that I wouldn’t have been content had I compromised.

I have also observed a shift in the energy with the giving up of certain habits, routines, places and people. It is rare that if one huge part of our lives is in turmoil, due to our insistence on holding on to something or someone, another part would flourish. No, it won’t. The negative impact of such a vibe would block all the good that other aspects of our life could have. And if at all there is an ouster of this negative energy, everything else also starts falling into place. The moment we decide that we have to get out of a situation that is holding us back, we start to grow and recover. We don’t have to go down guilt trip just because we ended something to improve our own lot. We don’t have to explain or justify our actions to people who would criticise us any which way. We are here to lead our lives to the best of our abilities. We are not here to please others. Keeping our own selves happy isn’t being selfish.

Lighten up. Trust the Energies. Make your own path. It isn’t necessary that the well- trodden one is the right way to go. Infact there isn’t any right or wrong here, just choices.
As Robert Frost rightly said –

The incident, I am about to narrate, goes back to the year 2009 or 2010, I was teaching at a residential school then. We had an English department full of experienced and knowledgeable teachers, each more impressive than the next in terms of vigour, zest or plain perspective.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. Some of us were sitting in the staff room carrying on with our respective tasks when Ma’am Santosh Ahlawat entered. I was in awe of her personality. Tall and distinguished, she seemed to be at complete ease in her skin. Her smiling face and radiance gave the impression of a person who had things under control and one who was sure of herself in every way. Nothing seemed to bother her or ruffle her feathers. She had great ideas too. It may seem like my personal ode to her but the fact of the matter is that I didn’t know her well enough and all the attributes, I have just mentioned about her, have only come to my mind now that I have sat down to write.

The only thing that I truly and vividly remember about her is what she told us that day and which has somehow stuck with me over the years. A simple thought but of great import. She had just come to the staffroom after taking an impromptu class with grade 9th. As it was an unscheduled period, she just gave them a random idea, wrote it on the green board and asked them to ponder over it. Her notion, though basic, was extremely profound. On the board she had written – LEARN TO LISTEN.

This tiny piece of sparkling wisdom has stayed with me since then. I keep telling the people or students I come in contact with, ‘to listen’ as much as they can. Over the years, I have benefitted a lot by cultivating this miniscule, seemingly random, bit of virtue.

It’s true that we learn new things only when we shut up & listen to new ideas and perspectives. People feel respected around us if, all we do, is listen to them make their point. We pick up new languages when we listen to natives speaking them. We earn the respect and admiration of our colleagues and subordinates when we let them make their case by giving them a chance to speak. For teachers and parents, earning the trust and devotion of their students or children is the greatest achievement, which is possible only when we listen to them. Not only these practical, day to day things, we also appreciate nature more when we sit quietly and observe its various bounties. We may have gathered and accumulated a lot of knowledge and experience but that doesn’t make us all- knowing.

Each of us has a lot to learn about the blessing that this human birth is, about the people around us and how to treat them, about nature, God, life, our work, relationships, about things that are said but not meant or others that are meant but never said, about situations that we find ourselves in and the tight corners that we have to manoeuvre around, about events that are evident but not real or real but not apparent or discernable.

Our lives would seem inadequate or insufficient in terms of time or length if we decide to pay heed to whatever there is to learn. But if we have to grow, that is the only path to take. Books and success stories can only teach us as much.

We genuinely learn from our environment and that too only when we give it an opportunity to make an impact on us. The easiest and the most pragmatic course of action would be to Listen. Listening is not just hearing but paying attention to not only the words spoken but also to those meant. Listening is not a stimuli for answering or replying or hitting back, it is a stepping stone for comprehension, reformation and change.

Recently, I was reading Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari and I read that the only thing that made Homo Sapiens different from other Humans and animals was the size of our brains. We are the wise ones. Ours is a chosen species. What we choose to do with this life is upto us! We can either stick to the comfortable and stay happy in our ignorance or else venture out of that safe zone, step into the unknown and find bliss that would add meaning to our mundane lives.

Wasn’t it Anand (Rajesh Khanna) who said, “बाबू मोशाय , ज़िन्दगी बड़ी होनी चाहिए, लंबी नही“ Life should be meaningful (big/large) not long (as in years without any real wisdom)

The one thing that we can all promise ouselves to do in our ordinary lives is to be open to learning and that would be possible only when we learn to listen.

Just a thought!